Are we all alone- or are we all in this together?
Imagine my surprise, when my friend Joan told me with complete certainty that we can only really rely on ourselves, that we are alone. I instantly countered, “Oh no, we are all in this together!”
What do you think, was I right? I’ve been thinking about it, and it goes something like this- if you really believe that we are all in it together, why do you have issues of abandonment? Maybe because you believe it, but are afraid of not belonging: wishing and trying hard to be a part of the togetherness but feeling like you’re on the outside. So maybe I’m not so sure.
But if you say, well, I’ve been let down, obviously, I can only rely on myself. Now you don’t feel abandoned because you won’t put yourself in that position.
If you believe that, you take care of yourself first, and save up resources to ensure your safe and comfortable. You invest your energy primarily in people and activities that are the most important to your own security and happiness. When crisis’ happens you’ve prepared for that day. Or if someone else has a crisis, you decide to help based on the risks and rewards of doing that.
On the other hand, if we are all in this together, you feel free to jump in and help or interfere with almost any situation. You may become spread too thin or stressed out because you try to make everyone happy all the time, despite all the evidence against this being possible. If a crisis’ happens, you’re there, if it happens to you, you expect help from your peeps.
The idea that each good deed can be counted up and balanced out directly back to us is another common. Relationships are gained and lost as we mentally add up whether or not so and so has paid back our investments. You cannot expect much, in the end, with these calculations, and it just reinforces the belief that we are all alone or else abandoned.
It’s complicated, but I think the ultimate truth is that we find our way together. If you have ever hit rock bottom, you know that helping hands come from unexpected places. Your world crumbles as you reach for supports that you thought were there, and you’re caught by surprise at the kindness and support of someone you barely knew.
Does this grace come to us all regardless of whether or not we believe we’re alone or in it together? One thing is clear to me, feeling alone and abandoned sucks. Being able to see past the beliefs that keep me feeling that way- that is my goal. You can do this by getting to know yourself through the practice of yoga.
What do you think? Which world view do you hold- alone? together? Please comment, because I would love to hear from you!
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Frances Adamson teaches yoga in Durham Region:
279 Central Park Blvd. North
Phone: 289-928-7292
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