A long time ago one of my yoga teachers told me, “everything in existence is as it should be”.
And lately, I’ve been seeing this quote everywhere- “Somewhere beyond right and wrong there is a field. I will meet you there.” Rumi
As a young adult hearing these ideas, I put them somewhere deep inside to ponder. Why is there suffering? How is this compatible with my values? It is evident that there is much in this world I did not accept. And at the heart of this was me.
If you were to ask me, do you love yourself? I would have to say its complicated. And so, re-reading the little book on Creating Affluence, by Deepak Chopra, when I came upon his declaration that his purpose was to heal and to make people happy, a great ‘AHA!’ shouted out inside of me. I have been putting the cart before the horse- first heal, then spread joy. Just a matter of priorities, and it is everything.
How to reconcile my own suffering with the woman I am, the person created, shaped by both love and suffering. Family dramas, the roles we each take on. I was the rebel, the black sheep in my family. I readily embraced this as my only means of attention. My pain was simply the continuation of suffering handed down by generations and it did not bear examination.
I could not accept it. I could not accept that in so many ways I was conditioned to recreate these dramas over and over, and so I did.
Long ago that seed was planted- ‘everything in existence is as it should be’ by my yoga teacher. For so many years I gave myself radical love in the form of yoga, as taught to me by my teachers: go to your mat; breath and stretch; soothe and nurture yourself. I had no idea the power of it. I only new that it felt good.
I’m a yogi because I identify as one- it made me special, way back in the seventies and eighties, I was unusual. It was something I did that helped my health, gave me a place in the world, because although I loved all the arts, visual, written, acting, I was not encouraged. These were impractical pursuits, but they were my passion, and so I suffered, to my very core.
And it is in that field beyond right and wrong that I begin to find myself and accept.
If I reject the truth, which is that we are a part of a large web of creation, I will be doomed to re-enact my misfortunes over and over. I will even be likely to perpetuate the abusive crushing of creativity and joy in the ones I love.
As we allow all feelings, all our experiences and responses to be accepted, then we step into the great cycle of nature- which is healing us, providing opportunities to grow, and fulfilling a great purpose just beyond our understanding.
Your thoughts on this?